父母必读:孩子从你身上学会三件事

孩子在潜移默化中向大人学习的三件事

　　Parenting is a job that occurs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week from the day the baby is born until the day they…well, until forever. A parent’s job is never done. Parents aren’t always teaching their children things directly and by design either. Sure, parents teach children to tie their shoes and help them learn their letters and numbers and other academic things. Parents may choose to teach their children about their religion or their favorite TV show or book. Children don’t always learn only when parents intend to teach them, however. In fact, some of the most important lessons that your children are learning about life might actually happen while you are doing things other than parenting。

　　父母是一个全天、全年连轴转的职业，从孩子出生的那天直到……呃，直到永远。父母这一职业永远没有卸任的一天。父母总是没有用直接、或设计好的方式来教育孩子。当然，父母教他们的孩子系鞋带，学字母，学算术或其他学习方面的东西。父母也可能教会孩子信仰、陪他们看最喜欢的电视节目或者书籍。但是，孩子们并不是只有在父母打算教他们的时候才学习。事实上，一些人生中重要的课程不从家长教导中习得，而是从家长们的行为获得。

　　Children learn how you handle stress, anxiety, and frustration. When you are upset, if you yell and scream, children see this, even if the yelling and screaming isn’t directed at them. Parents who are high strung may raise children that are high strung as well. Of course, if you suppress youremotions, your children learn from that, too. Remembering that little eyes are always watching is really important for parents. Express anger, frustration, and anxiety. But work on doing it in constructive ways and helping your child understand what you are feeling when things come along that cause problems。

　　孩子们学习家长如何处理压力、焦虑和沮丧的情绪。当你在焦虑时大吵大闹，孩子们也会看到，即使叫喊和尖叫并不是针对他们的。父母的过激情绪也会让孩子学会有过激的情绪。当然，如果你控制自己的情绪，孩子们也会学习这一点的。记住，有一双小眼睛总是注视着你。这一点非常重要。表达愤怒、挫折和焦虑是可以的。但是，用更有建设性的方式、帮助您的孩子理解您的面对问题时的情绪是更有效的方法。

　　Children learn from watching their parents interact with one another. How do you and your spouse or significant other interact with one another? Who makes the decisions? Do disagreements always end in raised voices and tears? Is respect demonstrated on a daily basis? Do your children see you and your spouse being affectionate with one another? These questions are important in helping your child shape their own ideas about what relationships and marriage should be like. Model for your child the type of relationship or marriage that you would like for them to be involved in one day. Don’t feel like children should never see their parents disagree, or that you can’t express displeasure with your significant other. However, do remember that your children are watching and your relationship may be the standard to which they compare their own future relationships. Are you and your spouse setting the example you want them to learn from?