儿童或成人 Children or Adults

Children or Adults
      There is a growing tendency that children mature at a younger age these days. Our society should accept the reality and adjust the law accordingly.
      Today, the movies and Internet around children have too many things about violence and sex. As a result, though we have tried all means to let children know only what they should know,children have known as much as adults. According to statistics,the underage crime rate is rising at a surprising speed. In addition, because laws in some places prohibit underage girls to have abortion without permissions from parents, the increasing number of unmarried mothers is also a worrying phenomenon.
      Some surveys show that most 14 to 15 year old children think they are already grown ups, and are eager to behave in their own ways. But the adults＇ society doesn＇t think so. Consequently, misunderstandings and quarrels between children and their parents and teachers have never stopped.
     Since we cannot change children, we can change our law.We should allow children over 15 to make decisions about their lives without the interference of their parents or teachers, and let them assume the responsibility for their own behaviors. Maybe in this way, the world would be more peaceful.

简  评
    Small is beautiful．郭倩同学的这篇作文，短小精悍，在方寸之间论述井井有条。虽然没有一鸣惊人之语，但语言简洁流畅，结构清晰，观点鲜明，是这篇作文的突出优点。
    作者开门见山，在首段摆明自己的观点，然后运用多种写作手法进行论证，尤其是fact and figures。通过统计调查结果来说话，比单纯的抽象分析具有更强的说服力，这是本文的显著特色。
    作者的语言功底也相当出色，尤其善于在论述文中使用各种衔接方式，如as a result，though，in addition，because，consequently等等。这些衔接词的使用使文章结构显得十分清晰，说理丝丝入扣，逻辑严密，无懈可击，这是值得广大学生学习的。